When love needs a boundary

A reflection on parenting and the kind of love that holds steady

I didn’t plan to write about parenting today.

But sometimes life throws a situation into your lap that reminds you just how complicated love can be, especially when it involves boundaries, mental health, and old wounds that never quite healed.

When I decided to start writing in this space again, to offer a little bit of grace to those who read my words, I knew it meant I’d need to be vulnerable, honest, and real.

That’s where grace can meet us, in the deep crevices of nothing-to-prove spaces. When life shows up uninvited and asks us to pay attention. When it feels uncomfortable.

Parenting is one of the toughest jobs I’ve ever had.

And the older I get, the more I realize how incredibly valuable it is to have a strong sense of self. If I’m going to parent well, I have to know who I really am.

But here’s the thing, even with a strong sense of self, parenting can shake you.

Especially when you’re not just parenting your child, but navigating a shared parenting dynamic with someone whose presence feels more disruptive than supportive.

Co-parenting isn’t always a partnership. Sometimes it’s a solo act performed in the shadow of someone else’s chaos.

And when you’re trying to hold structure for a child while someone else is unraveling it behind the scenes, it can leave you doubting your own steadiness.

That’s when I come back to what I’ve learned: Boundaries are not rejection. They are a form of resilience. They are safety. They’re the way we love ourselves and others, without getting lost in the storm.

There is grace in drawing a line.

There is grace in saying, “I can hold space, but I can’t hold everything.”

There is grace in letting love be honest, not endless.

And this doesn’t just apply to parenting.

It applies to every kind of relationship that asks more than it gives.

To family ties that drain us.

To friendships that blur our edges.

To romantic relationships that leave us questioning our worth.

Whether you’re navigating this in parenting or in any part of your life, know this:

You can create space and still hold love.

You are not selfish for wanting peace.

You are not unkind for choosing clarity.

You’re human. And you’re allowed to love with limits.

If you’re in a co-parenting dynamic that feels like an endless cycle of chaos, one piece of reassurance I want to offer is this: Your kids are growing up. This won’t last forever.

The more stability you can bring into the picture now, the more you can become responsive instead of emotionally reactive.

The more anchoring you offer, the more you model what it looks like to break cycles and create a safe, consistent world. I share this with you as I remind myself. This isn’t easy, but the foundation it builds feels safe and long-lasting. True and honest.

I’m far from perfect. But I do believe that when we try, when we pause instead of overreact, we’re choosing a better path. For ourselves, for our kids, for those we love.

And that is a win worth fighting for.

Because the kind of love that honors both others and ourselves is the kind that changes everything.

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🌱 Reflection Prompt:

Where in your life is love asking for a little more structure?

Where are boundaries being beckoned, and where can you hold the line with responsiveness instead of reactivity?

This week, may your boundaries be rooted in love, and your love be rooted in truth. And may you know, it may feel shaky at first, but you’re building stronger ground on which to stand tall.

Till next time,

Danielle